John Lalonde | grislyTragedian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
grislytragedian) wrote2012-07-17 12:57 am
grislytragedian) wrote2012-07-17 12:57 am
AU Background [wip]
For app purposes, this background may be used by both Ki (player of Rose Egbert, thornythaumaturge and Katar (player of John Lalonde, this account) since this AU was a joint effort.
Characters:
Rose Egbert
Chumhandle: thornyThaumaturge
Typing Style: uses perfect syntax and grammar aside from her lack of capitalization. occasionally uses emotes. :)
Strife Specubi: Bookkind
Fetch Modus: Tree, though later changes to Magician (Items are placed inside of a top hat. Items must be pulled from it, but only after the user says the "magic words." Inexperienced users may find themselves pulling out the wrong things, however. Regardless of experience level, bunny-shaped and themed items appear to be given precedence over other items and will often appear instead of what the user was trying to retrieve.)
Title: Seer of Breath
Planet: Land of Lanterns and Reservoirs
Dreamself: Derse; ???
Sprite: Wizardsprite (wizard doll, pre-entry); Grandmasprite (Grandma Egbert's ashes, post-entry)
John Lalonde
Chumhandle: grislyTragedian
Typing Style: Uses perfect syntax and grammar and only uses emotes on very, VERY rare occasions. Much ike John Egbert, he has the tendency to avoid contractions.
Strife Specubi: Malletkind
Fetch Modus: Ouija (the spirits decide what object is removed, not the user)
Title: Heir of Light
Planet: Land of Whispers and Spotlights
Dreamself: Prospit; does not awaken
Sprite: Caspersprite (blood-stained vampire doll and Caspers's corpse, pre-entry)
Jade Strider
Chumhandle: groovyGladiatrix
Typing Style: does not use punctuation or capitalization has the tendency not to use contractions at times she may get riled up enough to use an exclamation point but this is about as rare as johns emotes
Strife Specubi: Kniveskind (throwing knives)
Fetch Modus: ???
Title: Witch of Time
Planet: Land of Fissures and Frequency
Dreamself: Prospit; ???, eventually merges with waking self when Jade goes God Tier
Sprite: Squiddlesprite (Squiddle doll, pre-entry); Jadesprite (Alternate Future Jade, post-entry)
Dave Harley
Chumhandle: trickshotGuitarist
Typing Style: doesnt use any form of punctuation other than question and exclamation marks!! does not capitalize anything and favors emotes :D
Strife Specubi: Machetekind and Crossbowkind
Fetch Modus: ???
Title: Knight of Space
Planet: Land of Hoarfrost and Croakers
Dreamself: Derse; Woke up during childhood, hears whispers of the past and future from the Horrorterrors, "awake" Dave has a robot from Pops which functions while his dreamself is active.
Sprite: Popsprite (Grandpa "Pops" Harley's corpse, pre-entry); Popsprite ii electric boogaloo (Bec, post-entry)
Plot Summary:
Basically, this AU is a meteorswap with the additional twist of being a doomed timeline to the original canon. The meteors carrying the four beta kids went through the wrong portals during the reckoning, resulting in them being raised by the wrong guardians. This resulted in not only changes to the kids' personalities, but a variety of changes to their session as well. They are still biologically the canon kids, meaning there was no switch in eyecolor nor dreamself planets. The trolls do not appear in this AU at all, owing to the fact that it's a doomed offshoot.
Things start out similarly enough to the original Homestuck canon. It's April 13th, and it just so happens that today, of all days, is Rose Egbert's 13th birthday. It also happens to be the day that she will receive one of the hottest new video games in the mail, three days later than she should have. And it just so happens that she will be playing this game with her three best friends, who have all had their copies of the game for a while already, but have been waiting to play it together. Because otherwise that just wouldn't be fair to poor Rose, and come on it's almost her birthday guys let's not be colossal asshats here. Rose was the first to want to play, and had little trouble in convincing her #1 galpal, Jade, to play too. When Dave heard about it later, he couldn't help but want to play as well, though was a little bummed that he wouldn't be able to since there would be no way for him to get a disc in time all the way out on Hellmurder Island. Luckily, Jade had has back and offered to rip him a copy of her own once it arrived in the mail. As for John, well...the game wasn't exactly the sort of thing he would be interested in normally, buuuuuuut what kind of friend would he be if he didn't join in as well?
Unfortunately, despite that they were all on the same page as far as playing goes, they still had a few issues to contend with before actually playing. Rose still had to have a bit of a facedown in the kitchen with her dad in order to get the discs (Dammit, Dad, cake later! SBURB now! She has been waiting three days for this.) John had to contend with power issues due to a terrible rainstorm and Jade managed to accidentally crush her discs by rolling over them with her computer chair (the girl really needs to clean off her desk once in a while so stuff like this doesn't happen). Which leads to a rooftop battle with her bro in order to get his copy. And Dave...well Dave didn't have any problems since Jade gave him a ripped copy three days ago. But since his tentacled slumberbuddies (a.k.a: the Horrorterrors) told him about the order in which they would enter, he purposely made himself unavailable to the others for a while, feeding Becquerel and taking a few last snapshots of his island before the meteor comes to destroy it.
When Rose finally gets her disc and is ready to play, Jade is unavailable since she's currently arming herself for her showdown with Bro. Rose decides to wait, but is prompted by Dave to go ahead and start playing with John and the two of them will catch up later because "brb gotta feed bec". They begin playing John makes a mess of Rose's bathroom and puts the overly large wizard doll that Rose received as a birthday present from Dad into her kernel. When Rose makes it into the game, there is a mishap with the sprite and her dear grandma's ashes, leading to the creation of GRANDMASPRITE. Rose then spends some time getting the feel of the game and learning how to use all the funky gadgets now strewn around her house. With a little help from John, who occasionally dabbles in coding, she figures out how to use the alchemiter in order to create new items and weapons. Once properly dressed and armed, she starts adventuring around her land.
Meanwhile, John's power is still on the fritz as it becomes his turn to enter, causing him to leave the house so that he can use the backup generator behind the mausoleum of his beloved cat, Caspers. When that runs out of power, he ends up going through a secret passageway which leads to inside the mysterious lab behind his house. He manages to find a stable power source (as well as an adorable mutant kitten which he names "Meowgon Spengler") this way, though sadly he is not out of the woods yet. Dave is still frustratingly unavailable, Jade's still caught up in her rooftop battle, and Rose can't be both his server and his client payer otherwise Dave and Jade won't be able to play at all. Luckily, Jade pulls through at the last minute. John throws his dead cat, Caspers, into the kernel, resulting in CASPERSPRITE. Jade then feels the need to add an overly large vampire doll which John received on his birthday several months prior from his mother but has never left the living room.
Though John is more than a little displeased with Jade for taking so long, nearly allowing him to die in a fiery inferno, AND prototyping that stupid doll, he is immediately cheered by the landscape he suddenly finds himself in. Holy balls his planet is awesome. Like Rose, he immediately sets to alchemizing a variety of weapons and outfits as well as some generally useless crap before getting his adventure underway. Just as he's about to leave his house, he finds a young lost salamander near his what used to be Caspers's mausoleum. He names her Cheryl and "adopts" her, despite the fact that she very quickly runs away. John spends the next several hours running around his planet in the dark calling for Cheryl and bashing any and all enemies that stand in the way of finding his beloved adopted daughter.They only came here for vacatiiionnnnn whhhhyyyy?!? While he's out and about, Rose arrives on his planet having recently upgraded her books to magical ones, giving her the power of flight so that she could go directly to her gates instead of waiting for John to build up her house. Which...he was being kind of slow about because first he was having power issues and fire issues and then he decided to be a giant dork and LARP Silent Hill with a baby salamander.
Needless to say, the only living thing that Rose finds in John's house is a tiny mutant kitten. She messages Jade, who informs her that the last thing she heard from John was some nonsense about him having to go find Cheryl and she pretty much stopped paying attention after that because Dave is kind of doing some really dumb shit while setting her up for entry. That being said, she has to go she'll talk to you later, girlfran. Before Rose has the chance to get too terribly upset, she hears somebody whisper her name ever so faintly. Unbeknownst to her, her abilities as a Seer of Breath work incredibly well on John's planet. She can hear actual words in the whispers much more clearly than the Heir (or maybe that's just because he's too busy pretending to be Harry Mason) and they end up leading her out of John's house and to a cave a little ways away. She of course, takesMeowgon Salem the kitten with her. What was John thinking just leaving him in the house all alone while there are imps about? Inside, she finds a mysterious pad which teleports her to a strange lab out in the Veil. Though she finds a very cute lab suit that seems to have been made just for her, all the equipment is in various states of disrepair so she can't perform any mad science. Rose has basically no clue what any of this means but wow this outfit is too adorable to just leave here.
That's enough about those two kids, there are still two others who haven't managed to make it into the game yet. Unfortunately, Dave decides to take one last nap before his entry, so it's his dreamself-powered robot that helps Jade to set up the entry process. Hence why Jade wasn't really able to talk long when Rose messaged her. Not only is Dave kind of breaking her toilet, he also decided that it would be an awesome idea to root through Jade's stuff. And of all the things to find, he locates her super secret collection of Squiddles merchandise. And you know what? Her kernelsprite is orange, and this little guy here is orange and it's almost like they were made to go together. Needless to say, Jade is none too pleased about this because she tries to keep her fondness of those adorable little squids on the down-low. NO ONE MUST KNOW... Fortunately, once Jade manages to enter, she is spared the embarrassment of SQUIDDLESPRITE by her alternate future self, who claims to have come back to make sure of three things. First: that Jade doesn't wind up with an embarrassing, vaguely phallic sprite following her around for the rest of her adventure (the squeaky voice gets so old). Second: she can't tell you that, Jade, that would be spoilers. And third: this one is also a spoiler, sorry dog.
Dave manages to wake up in time for his entry, with new knowledge from the horrorterrors about the forge and how to light it. From the sounds of things, it's a pretty complicated process so it's not for the first time that he's glad to have the Calamari Guide Book to SBURB. After learning from Rose (who is back on LOWAS for the time being, after her quick stop to the broken lab) about how John prototyped Caspers and was finally able to talk to his pet, Dave gets the brilliant idea to do the same with Bec. However, the dog is less than inclined to jump into the kernel at Dave's command. So instead, Dave takes a leaf out of Rose's book and imbues his sprite with some elderly wisdom and POPSPRITE is born. Compared to the others, his entry is extremely calm and uneventful.
Sometime between Jade and Dave's entries, John finally manages to find Cheryl and stows her inside his sylladex. Because this is a much safer place for a child! He's really not sure where in the world he is at this point, but before him their stands a dark and seemingly abandoned library. Inside, he learns a variety of things about the game, including the true nature of their session as a doomed timeline. It is at this point, that he's finally quiet enough to really understand the whispers of his planet, and the prompt him to speak with Typheus. The king of storms confirms his worst fears but also gives John a choice that may lead to a slightly better ending. He can kill himself and his friends as they fix the timeline, which Typheus promises will ultimately save them (though he doesn't say how). He even, so kindly, offers to kill John himself if the boy thinks that he won't be up to it. Or John can choose to spare them, which Typheus assures him, will ultimately doom them. John chooses the first option and Typheus tells him about the dreambubbles and goes through with his offer to kill the boy...by giving him a small bomb to use as he sees fit. When John asks how to go about fixing the timeline, Typheus refuses to answer and takes a swing at John when the boy presses him further. Fortunately, he misses and John gets the hell out of that palace before he pisses the monster off even more.
Luckily, even without Typheus's help. John has somewhat of an idea of where to start. Or at least, who to start with. He talks to Jade, telling her everything that Typheus told him and together the two of them begin formulating a plan. Meanwhile, Rose has managed to pass through LOFAF and onward to LOHAC, where she's helping Dave collect and breed frogs in an attempt to create the Genesis Frog. Since their timeline is doomed, this is technically impossible but Rose and Dave don't exactly know this. As a child, Dave never saw the final frog needed to complete the gene sequence, so even if they DID manage to get that far in the breeding, Hephaestus would not be able to help him locate it. During this time, Jadesprite messages Dave and tells him that he needs to prototype a second time. But not just with any old thing lying around in that tower of eclectica. The second thing has to be Bec, for "future reasons goddamit dave witch of fucking time here i know what i'm talking about". Bec is still resistant, so Jadesprite has John send Caspersprite over to trick the canine into prototyping. One very short chase later, Popsprite becomes...okay, well he stays as Popsprite though he gains some canine appendages and crazy first guardian powers in addition to his sprite powers. This second prototyping is the solution to the mysterious third issue that alternate future Jade came back to fix and still refuses to elaborate on.
And now that that's taken care of, it's time to fix issue number two because screw chronology. John and Jade have put the finishing touches on their grand master fix-it plan, and John arrives on LOFAF in order to put the first phase into motion: making Jade go god tier. However, once Jade is unconscious on her quest bed, John falters. He's suddenly not as confident in his ability to go through with killing his friend who is also apparently his sister or something? He didn't entirely understand that part of the book, what the fuck is ectobiology? Jadesprite is prepared for this, however, since the same thing happened in her own timeline and John decided to skip phase one and move on to phase two. She manages to convince him to go through with it, and John stabs Jade through the heart with the bladed end of Scythehammer of the Reaper because bashing her face in just seemed like unnecessary overkill.
John and Jadesprite travel onward to LOHAC where they quickly locate Dave and Rose (and the other three sprites), who have just managed to successfully breed their first tadpole. Without so much as a hello, John pulls out the bomb, gives it a shake, and blows all of them up. John's not entirely sure if sprites can survive in the dreambubbles the same way as humans do but it's worth a try, right? If only he could have found their guardians as well, would have been nice to be able to bring them to the dream bubbles too. But since the kids had seen neither hide nor hair of any of them since entering, it didn't happen. This was technically the third thing which Alternate Future Jade came back to fix. In her timeline, Bec was not prototyped and when John attempted to set off the bomb, the dog interfered so that nothing would happen to his beloved master. By prototyping him with something of a higher consciousness (Pops), AF Jade was able to ensure that this would not happen again.
Jade wakes up on Prospit as the newly ascended Witch of Time. She travels back in time to John Egbert's adventures in ectobiology and pauses each of the meteors in time so that she can manually switch each of the young ectoclones. As she switches the last baby, she's hit by a meteor, crash lands on Earth, and is killed. Because risking your own life to fix the timestream in meteorpocalypse is pretty heroic, wouldn't you agree?
thornythaumaturge and Katar (player of John Lalonde, this account) since this AU was a joint effort.Characters:
Rose Egbert
Chumhandle: thornyThaumaturge
Typing Style: uses perfect syntax and grammar aside from her lack of capitalization. occasionally uses emotes. :)
Strife Specubi: Bookkind
Fetch Modus: Tree, though later changes to Magician (Items are placed inside of a top hat. Items must be pulled from it, but only after the user says the "magic words." Inexperienced users may find themselves pulling out the wrong things, however. Regardless of experience level, bunny-shaped and themed items appear to be given precedence over other items and will often appear instead of what the user was trying to retrieve.)
Title: Seer of Breath
Planet: Land of Lanterns and Reservoirs
Dreamself: Derse; ???
Sprite: Wizardsprite (wizard doll, pre-entry); Grandmasprite (Grandma Egbert's ashes, post-entry)
John Lalonde
Chumhandle: grislyTragedian
Typing Style: Uses perfect syntax and grammar and only uses emotes on very, VERY rare occasions. Much ike John Egbert, he has the tendency to avoid contractions.
Strife Specubi: Malletkind
Fetch Modus: Ouija (the spirits decide what object is removed, not the user)
Title: Heir of Light
Planet: Land of Whispers and Spotlights
Dreamself: Prospit; does not awaken
Sprite: Caspersprite (blood-stained vampire doll and Caspers's corpse, pre-entry)
Jade Strider
Chumhandle: groovyGladiatrix
Typing Style: does not use punctuation or capitalization has the tendency not to use contractions at times she may get riled up enough to use an exclamation point but this is about as rare as johns emotes
Strife Specubi: Kniveskind (throwing knives)
Fetch Modus: ???
Title: Witch of Time
Planet: Land of Fissures and Frequency
Dreamself: Prospit; ???, eventually merges with waking self when Jade goes God Tier
Sprite: Squiddlesprite (Squiddle doll, pre-entry); Jadesprite (Alternate Future Jade, post-entry)
Dave Harley
Chumhandle: trickshotGuitarist
Typing Style: doesnt use any form of punctuation other than question and exclamation marks!! does not capitalize anything and favors emotes :D
Strife Specubi: Machetekind and Crossbowkind
Fetch Modus: ???
Title: Knight of Space
Planet: Land of Hoarfrost and Croakers
Dreamself: Derse; Woke up during childhood, hears whispers of the past and future from the Horrorterrors, "awake" Dave has a robot from Pops which functions while his dreamself is active.
Sprite: Popsprite (Grandpa "Pops" Harley's corpse, pre-entry); Popsprite ii electric boogaloo (Bec, post-entry)
Plot Summary:
Basically, this AU is a meteorswap with the additional twist of being a doomed timeline to the original canon. The meteors carrying the four beta kids went through the wrong portals during the reckoning, resulting in them being raised by the wrong guardians. This resulted in not only changes to the kids' personalities, but a variety of changes to their session as well. They are still biologically the canon kids, meaning there was no switch in eyecolor nor dreamself planets. The trolls do not appear in this AU at all, owing to the fact that it's a doomed offshoot.
Things start out similarly enough to the original Homestuck canon. It's April 13th, and it just so happens that today, of all days, is Rose Egbert's 13th birthday. It also happens to be the day that she will receive one of the hottest new video games in the mail, three days later than she should have. And it just so happens that she will be playing this game with her three best friends, who have all had their copies of the game for a while already, but have been waiting to play it together. Because otherwise that just wouldn't be fair to poor Rose, and come on it's almost her birthday guys let's not be colossal asshats here. Rose was the first to want to play, and had little trouble in convincing her #1 galpal, Jade, to play too. When Dave heard about it later, he couldn't help but want to play as well, though was a little bummed that he wouldn't be able to since there would be no way for him to get a disc in time all the way out on Hellmurder Island. Luckily, Jade had has back and offered to rip him a copy of her own once it arrived in the mail. As for John, well...the game wasn't exactly the sort of thing he would be interested in normally, buuuuuuut what kind of friend would he be if he didn't join in as well?
Unfortunately, despite that they were all on the same page as far as playing goes, they still had a few issues to contend with before actually playing. Rose still had to have a bit of a facedown in the kitchen with her dad in order to get the discs (Dammit, Dad, cake later! SBURB now! She has been waiting three days for this.) John had to contend with power issues due to a terrible rainstorm and Jade managed to accidentally crush her discs by rolling over them with her computer chair (the girl really needs to clean off her desk once in a while so stuff like this doesn't happen). Which leads to a rooftop battle with her bro in order to get his copy. And Dave...well Dave didn't have any problems since Jade gave him a ripped copy three days ago. But since his tentacled slumberbuddies (a.k.a: the Horrorterrors) told him about the order in which they would enter, he purposely made himself unavailable to the others for a while, feeding Becquerel and taking a few last snapshots of his island before the meteor comes to destroy it.
When Rose finally gets her disc and is ready to play, Jade is unavailable since she's currently arming herself for her showdown with Bro. Rose decides to wait, but is prompted by Dave to go ahead and start playing with John and the two of them will catch up later because "brb gotta feed bec". They begin playing John makes a mess of Rose's bathroom and puts the overly large wizard doll that Rose received as a birthday present from Dad into her kernel. When Rose makes it into the game, there is a mishap with the sprite and her dear grandma's ashes, leading to the creation of GRANDMASPRITE. Rose then spends some time getting the feel of the game and learning how to use all the funky gadgets now strewn around her house. With a little help from John, who occasionally dabbles in coding, she figures out how to use the alchemiter in order to create new items and weapons. Once properly dressed and armed, she starts adventuring around her land.
Meanwhile, John's power is still on the fritz as it becomes his turn to enter, causing him to leave the house so that he can use the backup generator behind the mausoleum of his beloved cat, Caspers. When that runs out of power, he ends up going through a secret passageway which leads to inside the mysterious lab behind his house. He manages to find a stable power source (as well as an adorable mutant kitten which he names "Meowgon Spengler") this way, though sadly he is not out of the woods yet. Dave is still frustratingly unavailable, Jade's still caught up in her rooftop battle, and Rose can't be both his server and his client payer otherwise Dave and Jade won't be able to play at all. Luckily, Jade pulls through at the last minute. John throws his dead cat, Caspers, into the kernel, resulting in CASPERSPRITE. Jade then feels the need to add an overly large vampire doll which John received on his birthday several months prior from his mother but has never left the living room.
Though John is more than a little displeased with Jade for taking so long, nearly allowing him to die in a fiery inferno, AND prototyping that stupid doll, he is immediately cheered by the landscape he suddenly finds himself in. Holy balls his planet is awesome. Like Rose, he immediately sets to alchemizing a variety of weapons and outfits as well as some generally useless crap before getting his adventure underway. Just as he's about to leave his house, he finds a young lost salamander near his what used to be Caspers's mausoleum. He names her Cheryl and "adopts" her, despite the fact that she very quickly runs away. John spends the next several hours running around his planet in the dark calling for Cheryl and bashing any and all enemies that stand in the way of finding his beloved adopted daughter.
Needless to say, the only living thing that Rose finds in John's house is a tiny mutant kitten. She messages Jade, who informs her that the last thing she heard from John was some nonsense about him having to go find Cheryl and she pretty much stopped paying attention after that because Dave is kind of doing some really dumb shit while setting her up for entry. That being said, she has to go she'll talk to you later, girlfran. Before Rose has the chance to get too terribly upset, she hears somebody whisper her name ever so faintly. Unbeknownst to her, her abilities as a Seer of Breath work incredibly well on John's planet. She can hear actual words in the whispers much more clearly than the Heir (or maybe that's just because he's too busy pretending to be Harry Mason) and they end up leading her out of John's house and to a cave a little ways away. She of course, takes
That's enough about those two kids, there are still two others who haven't managed to make it into the game yet. Unfortunately, Dave decides to take one last nap before his entry, so it's his dreamself-powered robot that helps Jade to set up the entry process. Hence why Jade wasn't really able to talk long when Rose messaged her. Not only is Dave kind of breaking her toilet, he also decided that it would be an awesome idea to root through Jade's stuff. And of all the things to find, he locates her super secret collection of Squiddles merchandise. And you know what? Her kernelsprite is orange, and this little guy here is orange and it's almost like they were made to go together. Needless to say, Jade is none too pleased about this because she tries to keep her fondness of those adorable little squids on the down-low. NO ONE MUST KNOW... Fortunately, once Jade manages to enter, she is spared the embarrassment of SQUIDDLESPRITE by her alternate future self, who claims to have come back to make sure of three things. First: that Jade doesn't wind up with an embarrassing, vaguely phallic sprite following her around for the rest of her adventure (the squeaky voice gets so old). Second: she can't tell you that, Jade, that would be spoilers. And third: this one is also a spoiler, sorry dog.
Dave manages to wake up in time for his entry, with new knowledge from the horrorterrors about the forge and how to light it. From the sounds of things, it's a pretty complicated process so it's not for the first time that he's glad to have the Calamari Guide Book to SBURB. After learning from Rose (who is back on LOWAS for the time being, after her quick stop to the broken lab) about how John prototyped Caspers and was finally able to talk to his pet, Dave gets the brilliant idea to do the same with Bec. However, the dog is less than inclined to jump into the kernel at Dave's command. So instead, Dave takes a leaf out of Rose's book and imbues his sprite with some elderly wisdom and POPSPRITE is born. Compared to the others, his entry is extremely calm and uneventful.
Sometime between Jade and Dave's entries, John finally manages to find Cheryl and stows her inside his sylladex. Because this is a much safer place for a child! He's really not sure where in the world he is at this point, but before him their stands a dark and seemingly abandoned library. Inside, he learns a variety of things about the game, including the true nature of their session as a doomed timeline. It is at this point, that he's finally quiet enough to really understand the whispers of his planet, and the prompt him to speak with Typheus. The king of storms confirms his worst fears but also gives John a choice that may lead to a slightly better ending. He can kill himself and his friends as they fix the timeline, which Typheus promises will ultimately save them (though he doesn't say how). He even, so kindly, offers to kill John himself if the boy thinks that he won't be up to it. Or John can choose to spare them, which Typheus assures him, will ultimately doom them. John chooses the first option and Typheus tells him about the dreambubbles and goes through with his offer to kill the boy...by giving him a small bomb to use as he sees fit. When John asks how to go about fixing the timeline, Typheus refuses to answer and takes a swing at John when the boy presses him further. Fortunately, he misses and John gets the hell out of that palace before he pisses the monster off even more.
Luckily, even without Typheus's help. John has somewhat of an idea of where to start. Or at least, who to start with. He talks to Jade, telling her everything that Typheus told him and together the two of them begin formulating a plan. Meanwhile, Rose has managed to pass through LOFAF and onward to LOHAC, where she's helping Dave collect and breed frogs in an attempt to create the Genesis Frog. Since their timeline is doomed, this is technically impossible but Rose and Dave don't exactly know this. As a child, Dave never saw the final frog needed to complete the gene sequence, so even if they DID manage to get that far in the breeding, Hephaestus would not be able to help him locate it. During this time, Jadesprite messages Dave and tells him that he needs to prototype a second time. But not just with any old thing lying around in that tower of eclectica. The second thing has to be Bec, for "future reasons goddamit dave witch of fucking time here i know what i'm talking about". Bec is still resistant, so Jadesprite has John send Caspersprite over to trick the canine into prototyping. One very short chase later, Popsprite becomes...okay, well he stays as Popsprite though he gains some canine appendages and crazy first guardian powers in addition to his sprite powers. This second prototyping is the solution to the mysterious third issue that alternate future Jade came back to fix and still refuses to elaborate on.
And now that that's taken care of, it's time to fix issue number two because screw chronology. John and Jade have put the finishing touches on their grand master fix-it plan, and John arrives on LOFAF in order to put the first phase into motion: making Jade go god tier. However, once Jade is unconscious on her quest bed, John falters. He's suddenly not as confident in his ability to go through with killing his friend who is also apparently his sister or something? He didn't entirely understand that part of the book, what the fuck is ectobiology? Jadesprite is prepared for this, however, since the same thing happened in her own timeline and John decided to skip phase one and move on to phase two. She manages to convince him to go through with it, and John stabs Jade through the heart with the bladed end of Scythehammer of the Reaper because bashing her face in just seemed like unnecessary overkill.
John and Jadesprite travel onward to LOHAC where they quickly locate Dave and Rose (and the other three sprites), who have just managed to successfully breed their first tadpole. Without so much as a hello, John pulls out the bomb, gives it a shake, and blows all of them up. John's not entirely sure if sprites can survive in the dreambubbles the same way as humans do but it's worth a try, right? If only he could have found their guardians as well, would have been nice to be able to bring them to the dream bubbles too. But since the kids had seen neither hide nor hair of any of them since entering, it didn't happen. This was technically the third thing which Alternate Future Jade came back to fix. In her timeline, Bec was not prototyped and when John attempted to set off the bomb, the dog interfered so that nothing would happen to his beloved master. By prototyping him with something of a higher consciousness (Pops), AF Jade was able to ensure that this would not happen again.
Jade wakes up on Prospit as the newly ascended Witch of Time. She travels back in time to John Egbert's adventures in ectobiology and pauses each of the meteors in time so that she can manually switch each of the young ectoclones. As she switches the last baby, she's hit by a meteor, crash lands on Earth, and is killed. Because risking your own life to fix the timestream in meteorpocalypse is pretty heroic, wouldn't you agree?