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Your name is JOHN LALONDE. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for MOVIES, particularly those of the HORROR and THRILLER GENRES. In your spare time you like to write SCREENPLAYS and dream of one day being a famous SCREENWRITER or DIRECTOR or possibly even BOTH. Though you fancy yourself a writer of TRAGEDIES, your endings always leave a little to be desired in that regard. You have a fondness for the PARANORMAL that borders fanaticism and sometimes it prompts you to try your hand at writing GHOST STORIES. Though these tend to be only slightly more awful than your screenplays. You like your VIDEO GAMES the same way you like your movies: scary, suspenseful, and full of plot twists.
You hail from a SPLINTER in the ALPHA TIMELINE, where a Skaian GLITCH caused you and your friends to land in the wrong locations when you crash landed on EARTH thirteen years ago. Instead of growing up in WASHINGTON STATE with a LOVING FATHER, you ended up in NEW YORK and found yourself taken in by an ALCOHOLIC MOTHER. But she's really not all that bad, even though you complain about how she DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOU. You grew up thinking you were completely normal, not knowing that you initially fell from the SKY on a METEOR nor that you had been DOOMED all your life.
On your friend ROSE EGBERT's thirteenth birthday, the two of you along with your other friends, JADE STRIDER and DAVE HARLEY played a game that ended the world. You found yourself on a dark, spotlight-filled world inhabited by SALAMANDERS. It was here, in a hidden library that you learned EVERYTHING. Well, okay, not EVERYTHING, but at least all the IMPORTANT PLOT SHIT. This important plot shit was further confirmed by your DENIZEN, TYPHEUS, who gave you a CHOICE. Kill yourself and all your friends, ultimately saving your existence; or spare them, ultimately dooming yourselves. You chose the first option, though it wasn't exactly easy. While ROSE and DAVE worked towards the game's true objective of creating a NEW UNIVERSE, you and JADE hatched a plan to repair the timeline. After killing Jade on her QUEST BED, allowing her to become a fully realized WITCH OF TIME. While Jade handled the TIME BULLSHIT, you and JADESPRITE traveled onward to Dave's planet, where you set off a BOMB in order to end yourself, your friends, and your sprites.
This was to secure your continued existence in the DREAMBUBBLES after your timeline ceased to exist. Though you soon found yourself somewhere else entirely...